Amberism

pssst. hey, america?

You want the kinky sex and your right to marry? Bring it on, people. Bring. It. On.

In a world where the American Liberal seems to have up and walked away, Canada became the 3rd nation in the world to recognize same-sex marriage.

Hee! Canada is so cool.

(and imagine, my feelings for Steve didn't suddenly dissolve into complete and utter nothingness as a result. I still feel like my own marriage is solid even though those who are homosexual are recognized as married in the eyes of the Canadian Government. Crazy.).

(oh, and I agree with this statement

He [Myron Thompson] said the government has failed to protect the rights of children by refusing to toughen child-pornography laws or by raising the age of sexual consent above 14.

yeah, we have. I agree. Wholeheartedly. Spend some energy on that instead of the defending a mere label).

Unless

I finished Carol Shields' last book before her death - Unless - this weekend. My friend sent me a pile of Carol Shields book that I have yet to read, and I started with this one (mostly because it seemed short!).

If you've never read Carol Shields, she's was an American author who spent her entire adult years in Canada (so we consider her Canadian :), Canadians do that, or maybe she became a Canadian citizen? I have no idea.) who writes about ordinary woman. She is most famous for The Stone Diaries. These are definitely not books for men, and definitely not books for everyone as they're not high drama and won't hold everyone's interest. But I love her writing style, I love the ordinariness of her characters, and I love that her books always make me think.

This story is about a writer/mother whose eldest daughter decides to live on the street, won't acknowledge that her family exists and how the mother copes with this. Everything works out in the end, but for some reason I still walked away feeling pretty sad. Not a feel-good sort of book, that's for sure.

I just started Happenstance (not sure why, I still have two books my Grandma lent me, plus one she gave me for my birthday I've yet to read!) and so far, it's not nearly as engaging but it's two stories in one, the wife's story and the husband's story. Maybe it'll surprise me yet.

Inside is for people, outside is for bugs

There's a something scurrying around my cubicle. It's cross between an earwig and a spider and it moves like, right fast. So fast that I'll see the thing but then it scurries off before I can pick up an appropriate instrument in which to kill it. It's also highly adept at climbing the walls, cubicle walls, and desk legs.

Everytime I glimpse the thing I do a little jump (because, ew!bug!) and now I'm feeling right itchy. Here's hoping it moved onto someone else's cubicle now.

Steve's response "why did you move to B.C. if you can't handle bugs?"

Because I love you, that's why. Now find it and kill it. It's your lot in life.

Weekend Fun

Steve desperately wants to do something fun this weekend, but he's a man, and although he wants to do something fun I know what he really wants is for me to do all the planning and then he'll just tag along for the fun. Without the fun he'll be pouty and moody all weekend so its in my own best interest to actually do the planning.

Perhaps I exaggerate, perhaps not :). At any rate, currently in the running for the fun include

a. 3-hour kayak lessons off Schooner Cove, and then, I trust, we'd go kayaking somewhere.
PRO: I've never been sea kayaking. At least, not in Canada and not without consuming several margharitas first.
CON: It costs money.

b. Scuba-diving off the beach.
PRO: I love, love, love to dive
CON: It costs even more money to rent equiment

c. Camping.
PRO: It's about time we went camping, dammit.
CON: Everyone we had originally planned to camp with had to bail on us for an assortment of reasons (had to work, company coming) and its always more fun to camp with a crowd. And you have to find a place to camp.

d. Backpacking
PRO: it's awesome, we can take the dog.
CON: bears, and all that packing and unpacking, plus we'd have to plan a route and I haven't had time to do it.

e. Homework and Patio work
PRO: Helps with that pesky procrastination thing
CON: Helps with that pesky procrastination thing and isn't exactly fun.

yadda, yadda

I'm in a mood. I don't want to be here today, it's raining and cold and icky out, and I'm tired. Super-duper tired. I'd really like to go home and have myself a nice little nap, a cup of green tea and well, be anywhere besides here really.

I think the cause of said mood is because I'm at one of those moments in life where I have 8 million things to do and a very short time in which to do them. It's during these times that I'm always wondering what the fuck I was doing the months leading up to this point? Procratisnation is not a quality in myself that I admire much.

Plus we're broke. If we ever bothered to do our taxes, maybe we wouldn't be quite as broke as we are, or maybe we'd be even more broke, the jury is still out on whether or not we owe money or not. It seems to depend on who's doing the taxes and the alignment of the sun and the moon, or something (or maybe, just maybe, I simply don't know what the fuck I'm doing). I hate not having any money because I'm a child and when I don't have any money I desperately want to spend lots and lots of it. Being an adult really does suck.

My wedding site is up for hosting renewable real quick (in July I believe) and I'm wondering what to do with it. I have no real desire to leave up the Ode To My Wedding for all eternity, to be honest, haven't even been to the site in forever unless I get spammed on the guestbook but I like the design a lot, and I did renew the domain. I'm just not real sure what to do with it now... any thoughts?

And with that post all about the negative, I'll sign out.

Home. Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet home.

The course was intense. Any dreams I had of frolicking along the harbour and drinking lattes was quickly shattered when I realized what the course load was and how much studying was required to pass the daily (yes, daily) tests. Doing a university level course in a week is basically mad. At least it was raining most of the time, and I did get to go out to an awesome dinner and conversation with my brother-in-law, that was easily the highlight of my stay in Victoria. If you're ever in Victoria, try the Reef in downtown - it was excellent. I'm not sure it was authentic Carribbean food, but it sure was tasty.

This was weird though. My first night there I went in search of the pop machine on my floor of the hotel. It had an Out of Order sign on it, so I searched the entire building, and every pop machine was out of order. This pissed me right off. Anyway, a couple of mornings later I'm on my way to school and head to the elevator. There's an Out of Order sign on the elevator so I immediately start walking towards the stairs thinking everything in this damn hotel is falling apart. I walk past the pop machine and notice the sign had been ripped down. For some reason I stopped in my tracks. It was about 7:30 in the morning and I had this hunch that I shouldn't take the stairs, so I walked back to the elevator and tried it, it wasn't out of order so I took the elevator instead.

Maybe I just watch WAY too much TV, but I was thinking someone might have been in the stairs mugging people who thought the elevator was Out-of-Order... or I have an over-active imagination!

When the cats away, the mice will play!

I'm sure I've used that title already but I'm far, far, far too lazy to check. I'm also pretty sure I re-use entire blog posts and I'm not going to do anything about that either.

I'm back to school tomorrow for the first time in, well, a couple of years. I'm always going back to school :). I do not believe I'll have access to the internet, so don't update your blogs until Tuesday, when I return. It's always so difficult trying to catch up after being away! Thank you, I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.

And just because I can, more with the cute. I was lounging on the couch with Saffron (the cat) above my head and Vegas chilling out beside me on the chair. Not that these creatures are so spoiled they get to lounge on the furniture or anything...

Cuteness. With a capital C.

Welcome to the picture happy segment on Amberism.com. When you have no actual content to contribute, post pictures.

I'm breaking my own self-imposed rule of never putting up pictures of children I love. This rule exists because the internet if full of freaks, need I say more?

Yet seriously, could they be any cuter? I do not think that they could be. I'm so going to get in trouble for this from Steve...

In other news, Michael Jackson is a free man. I can't decide if I wanted him to go to jail simply because he is a complete freak, or because I truly think he really did what he's accused of. I will say this, I do not think that anyone can deny that he's not a stable man. Something is not balanced in his head. Today its been announced that he said he will no longer share his bed with boys. "He's not going to make himself vulnerable to this anymore". Yeah, because its Michael Jackson that's vulnerable here. Right. At any rate, here's hoping he's true to his word on that (and I agree with what Candi said eons ago, why the hell didn't he stop sharing his bed THE FIRST TIME HE WAS ACCUSED?)

If you're a parent, and you heard a jury member say this

""But Hultman said he believed it was likely that both boys had been molested. He said he voted to acquit Jackson in the current case because he had doubts about his current accuser's credibility.

"That's not to say he's an innocent man," Hultman, 62, said of Jackson. "

Would you really allow your child to go to Neverland Ranch? I sure hope everyone gets to read that.

And while we're on the subject of superstars, I'm tiring of hearing about the religious leanings of various stars. Shouldn't religion, or your spiritual growth, be a personal thing? Keep it personal.

I wish I could greet the day with the same enthusiasm as my dog. The very minute I open my eyes, he's up and shaking his booty like its the most exciting thing EVER. On our way down the stairs he's bouncing off the wall with the glee. His mornings aren't exciting enough to warrant this sort of enthusiasm. I'd be rich if I could figure out a way to get it into a pill for human consumption.

I'm still looking for an area to reclaim for my project. There's a space off the highway near my house and a wildfire station that has been clearer and looks like it could be reclaimed. My mission tonight is to find out who owns the land and what's up with it. If that doesn't pan out, it'll be a weekend of driving around my neighbourhood trying to find a case study for this course. The greatest thing about driving around my neighbourhood is you're always greeted with interesting, if unusual, sights.

I have no idea why these boats are here, but I loved how we just stumbled across a boat graveyard. Then at Sprout Lake, you are greeted by the sight of two water bombers resting in the middle of the lake.

These are water bombers from WWII, that are still being used today to fight forest fires in B.C. They're stunning, and a sight to see when you're at the lake. They Smithsonian has made a very nice offer on these planes, but since the planes are still in active service, they're home remains at Sprout Lake, which is lucky for us!

The pictures really don't do the size of the planes justice. We could actually drive the boat under the wing. They're huge, as is the lake itself!

Do you think you're pretty?

I think I'm pretty. I honestly, truly, think I'm a catch and I consider my husband to be a lucky man*. Recently I've had cause to think about why I have a fairly high self-esteem because of a Much Music program (the MTV equivalent in Canada) and various blog entries in my fitness blog reads.

With respect to the Much Music program, they were discussing Beyonce and suggesting that even with her flawed body, what with the big thighs (!! yes, they actually said that), she has still managed to use her body to portray herself as a very sexy woman. Color me crazy, but that woman IS sexy and there are many, many men out there who will enthusiastically agree with me on that one. I'm watching her on my television and trying to figure out how the hell they determined that her thighs were a size that would be deemed un-sexy if she didn't work it just right. What sort of message are they sending out here? You will suddenly feel sexy if you work it just right, or somehow manage to manipulate your thighs into the realm of sexy thighness? Dear god.

In addition I've read and watched numerous articles and shows that have touched on what is and isn't sexy, and who accepts and doesn't accept a particular weight/shape/image. It's been nothing new that we all haven't heard before, but someone did say something that made me think about my own self-image; when she lost weight the men didn't approve, just the woman (namely, white woman, but that's an entirely different post). The men preferred her body with curves.

Right there is the secret to my self-love, people. I listen to the men, not the women. Why? Well, because women hate each other, are fiercely competitive, and seem to go out of their way to make each other feel like complete shit. I don't know why this is, and frankly, I don't care. When it comes to how I look, I turn to my husband and my male friends, not my girlfriends. Let’s face it, it's the attention of the boys I'm after anyway, so why not go to the source.

I believe my husband when he tells me I look beautiful, because there is no reason for him to lie. I believe my male friends when they say I’m cute, or sexy, or tell me I should wear more shirts that allow them to bask in the glory of my cleavage. If they tell me that the cleavage is lovely and they want more of it, more cleavage they will have. I aim to please, after all. Seriously, though, it’s not just about getting male attention, but by listening to what my male friends like, and learning what they see when they look at woman, they’ve made me realize what my own desirable assets are, what really is considered beautiful in the real world, the world I live in, and confirmed what I already thought – I am pretty, even if I’m not a size 4 (add 10 sizes to that!), and even though I’m not exactly 5’4” (like I tell people! Hee!).

*it goes both ways; there is no denying that my husband is a HOT-TIE. Dimples, people. The man has dimples. And he has a butt that is so damn pinch-able I pinch it frequently. Oh, and he's a great guy to boot. I know it, I'm a lucky gal.

Food For Thought

Something with a little more substance than whether or not its raining.

Acts of Creation

Acts of creation are ordinarily reserved for gods and poets, but humbler folk may circumvent this restriction if they know how. To plant a pine, for example, one need be neither god nor poet; one need only own a good shovel. By virtue of this curious loophole in the rules, any clodhopper may say: Let there be a tree—and there will be one.

If his back be strong and his shovel sharp, there may eventually be ten thousand. And in the seventh year he may lean upon his shovel, and look upon his trees, and find them good.

God passed on his handiwork as early as the seventh day, but I notice He has since been rather noncommittal about its merits. I gather either that He spoke too soon, or that trees stand more looking upon than do fig leaves and firmaments.

From A Sand County Almanac by Aldo Leopold (considered the father of wildlife conservation in the US).

I was having a conversation the other day with Steve's boss and we were discussing the disappearing of the salmon. You simply can not live here and not become familiar with the plight of the salmon in our streams and ocean. Well, you could, but you'd be living in a box and even then it would be hard because I basically do live in a box and I know about it. Anyway, at one point I said that people, on the whole, are becoming wiser, more considerate of earth. He laughed. So I tacked on a "I hope", because I still believe there is always hope. And, of course, curious loopholes to the hard and fast rules ;).

is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S

This post will be more on the lines of I really have nothing to say like all the previous posts in the last couple of weeks. I was going to wax poetic on the fact that it's raining and has been raining for what feels like all eternity but considering it's flooding in Alberta, where the majority of my readers (aka, my family) live, it seemed insensitive to do that.

So, nothing. Maybe I'll get a brainwave tomorrow.

It's a lawn mower!

Several weeks ago I broke our lawn mower, so our "lawn" in the back of the house was out of control. The grass was as tall as my waist, you could only see the dog's tail when he was out there sniffing around.

For weeks we have been debating getting a ride-on lawn mower because our current mowable space is enormous. Thing is, we don't have the money for a ride-on lawn mower so we'd have to buy it on credit and as a result, we've been humming and hawing about it. In the end we decided that we weren't always going to have the never-ending lawn, and we couldn't afford a fancy lawn tractor, so we just bought a regular old self-propelled lawn mower. Steve managed to get about half the yard done this weekend (I'm telling you, the area is HUGE!) and he'll probably finish the rest this week. It's awesome having a mowed yard back there again! What a difference a lawn mower makes!

The front yard looks really nice, all the daisies have bloomed and it does look like a field of wild flowers! I'm very pleased!

We've had Steve's sister and Mom here this weekend, and we just had a low-key sort of day. It was raining, so we just hung out in the yard and relaxed and visited. It was nice. I think Vegas is looking forward to the time when it's just us again though, having visitors is hard on our little pup!

Sorry the posts have been the same old, same old lately. I just can't muster the energy to post anything of interest on the world wide web these days.

Random Nothingness

Steve told me yesterday that he thinks its weird that I get passionate about things like Karla's freedom and other injustices (or what I perceive to be injustices, I get pretty passionate about child abuse or abuse to woman). Personally, I think the fact that he doesn't just goes to show you how twisted our society has become. We've gotten so blaise about everything that even the horrendous doesn't affect us any more, it's hardly a blip on our radar. I blame the media.

For the record, I don't get weird about it, it's just an expression of my opinion and I'm opinionated. Just in case it seemed weird. But honestly, when you heard that Jeffery Dalmer was killed, did you care? I'm a hyprocrit because I do not believe in capital punishment, I don't think I have the power to say who does or doesn't die, but I didn't shed a tear and I think society is better off without him in this world. I feel the same about Karla, I don't think I have a right to sentence her to death, but I wouldn't shed a tear either.

~~

I sent an email to the BC government people requesting the required documents to change my name to Amber OldName NewName or Amber OldName-NewName or maybe even Amber OldNameNewName. I'm still mulling. They sent me information that is on their website about getting married and highlighting the points that say I don't have to pay for a change of name if I just take my husband's and drop off my own. This pisses me off. Yes, I know that if I merge my maiden and married name its a legal name change and it'll cost me money. I know that if I'm a good little wifey and just take Steve's name like the BC government seems to think I'm suppose to, it's free. I read that on the website, I didn't need an extra pamphlet with special highlighting like I'm some sort of moron. What I need from the government is the damn form, which I can't get off the website, because I WANT TO KEEP PART OF MY MAIDEN NAME. Is that so wrong?

~~

I'll give you my first born if you do my taxes for me.

~~

I want to go home and knit. Seriously, I want to knit. I have started a few projects, and then got side-tracked with vacations and school, and suddenly I have the urge to be a home-body.

Is it wrong to hope, in the back reaches of my mind, that someone kills her?

I think Karla Homolka should stay in prison for the rest of her life. Its been repeatedly said that she has shown no remorse for the actions she was involved in. People who knew her intimately have said that she's sick. At the very least there should be restrictions on her freedom. At the very least.

I believe in rehabilitation, and I believe that often it works, that certain criminals can re-enter into society and be good, productive citizens but lets face the reality, not all criminals are created equal, and not all criminals deserve a second chance. Karla is one of those criminals (there's a long list of them).

The one thing about this case that I've never been able to comprehend, to stomach, is that she KILLED HER SISTER. She served her sister to her husband on a silver platter like her sister was a toy and she has shown no remorse for that. I realise that my sister and I have a very strong sisterly bond, so perhaps my judgement is totally skewed, but honestly, even those people I know who simply tolerate their siblings couldn't comprehend that. Karla is a sick and twisted individual and she doesn't deserve a second chance. I imagine the families of the girls involved must be completely devasted that she gets to be free again. I can't even imagine what they must feel, but I believe they will never be free of this. It seems cruel that Karla gets to be.

A repeat of yesterday

My horoscope is exactly the same as yesterday's, even though the date has been updated. I don't want to do yesterday over again. Not that yesterday was a bad day, its just the principle of it, I like a little variety in my life and my horoscopes. Unless the stars really, really want me to come up with a unique and profitable idea and since yesterday wasn't successful, they're giving me another shot at it. I'm taking suggestions.

Since I've been cramming for my course in a couple of weeks (do we procrastinators ever figure this out?!) I've learned a few things. Reforestation after we've cut down the trees for wood or paper isn't as easy as you'd think. You don't just walk on in and plant trees, it's a successive process that involves stages before you get to the trees. I have a new respect for ecologists now that I'm trying to catch up on this science.

Canadian politics have officially hit ridiculous status. I'd like to believe that not all governments are corrupt, but honestly, I think that's a rather naive view. But I must say, most governments are far better at hiding the blantent corruption than this one is. Paul Martin really is a dithering idiot.