Amberism

Going under the knife

After a summer of waiting around and me just getting more and more impatient and angry I finally convinced Steve that he needed to call his surgeon's office and insist on being told a date for surgery. So far we have gotten two calls on a Tuesday asking Steve if he was willing to go into surgery the next day. Both times he was out of town making it impossible to drop everything and show up at the hospital. This, to me, was completely unacceptable. You can't expect anyone to be ready and able to drop their life at a moments notice when recovery is 10 days, and you have to be in town. Schedule the damn surgery.

Steve finally took my threats seriously that if he didn't call, I would, and I had no qualms about pissing off the surgeon. He's not cutting me open, afterall. So, he called and inquired with the receptionist who up until this point has been rather bitchy. He gets the usual routine that the doctor is Very Important and has Serious Cancer Surgeries to take care of. Yeah, yeah, we know because they have already told Steve how Very Important the surgeon is. And you know what? The whole routine pisses me off. I recognize that the world does not revolve me and my husband and that gallbladder surgery is considered "routine" and probably very boring to a surgeon who performs a endless number of this surgery considering its the most common surgery in North America. Nevertheless, playing the cancer patients who are dying card is childish, in my opinion. What the doctor is doing is not my concern, all I want is a schedule and if you're in the business of doing surgeries I trust you schedule.

This time Steve says that he completely understands that the doctor is Very Important however, his wife is Very Pregnant (and being a complete bitch about it all but I don't think he said that) and Steve was promised that he'd be taken care of before the end of the summer. Then Steve suggested maybe he should talk to another surgeon. One who isn't so Very Important. This changes the receptionists tune a little bit, first changing surgeons would mean Steve would be at the bottom of their list (which to me isn't a bad thing because every other surgeon has a shorter waiting list anyway) and the fact that I'm Very Pregnant seemed to light a fire under her ass somewhat. At some point it also comes up that the doctor is going on holidays in September and that is why he's been focusing exclusively on cancer patients all summer. Again, we don't think that the doctor doesn't deserve to go on holidays, he does, all we're asking for is a date.

Steve hangs up with an idea that maybe he'll go in for surgery in October or something. Still no date has been set and he's really just feeling guilty for insisting on a date when there are people with cancer. You know, real sick people instead of people who are only pseudo-sick like he is, I guess. I can't tell you how much that pisses me off, Steve shouldn't feel guilty because he's asking for a surgery date to be scheduled, especially considering the wait time on this operation here isn't that long and we've already surpassed the "wait time" as it is.

The very next morning the receptionist called back. They scheduled the surgery for September 11th. Lets hope that I don't give birth before then, or that day...! At least we have a date!

The squeaky wheel really does get the grease.

Plastic surgery and the like...

I know a lot of people feel that we should all learn to love our bodies and appreciate the beauty that God gave us. We should get up in the morning and feel blessed that we can see, hear, breath, or even just get up and walk around. Plastic surgery is seen as something only the rich and vain would ever consider.

yeah, I'm not one of those people that believes in that romantic notion. I think I was, once, when I was young and didn't have a blemish to be seen, but times, they be a changing. I'm not so young, and being basically see-through, blemishes are really noticeable. Now I have a list of things I'd like to have 'done' once I'm finished with the spawning business. Namely skin related, because as previously mentioned, being see-through makes every little blemish stand out.

oh, and spawning? That doesn't do your body any favours either. I'm just sayin'.

So, once the spawn is born I'm thinking of a few things. Most notably, I'm thinking of having all my skin tags removed. As a see-through person, skin tags are par for the course and for some reason you get more when you're pregnant (like, why?!). There are some that have been around so long that I might actually miss them when they get zapped, but I doubt it. I'm ready to say goodbye, especially considering most people think they are moles or a precursor to skin cancer and they are not. Just plain ol' boring skin tags.

Next on my list is hair removal. I would like to have all the hair on my legs and armpits and my bikini area removed for good with laser hair removal. Shaving is very irritating to my skin, so getting into a bathing suit is a production, I almost never shave that thoroughly because its just too damn painful to deal with. But it would be nice to be able to get into a bathing suit without ever picking up a razor again. I dream of the day.

Another proceedure I might consider doing is having the varicose veins behind my right knee removed. You'd be amazed how many people say to me "ohmygod, Amber! Something is wrong with your leg!" and point out the varicose veins. Yeah, nothing is wrong, I'm just fat people. And cross my right leg a lot. Those veins can go and I won't miss em.

The last thing I'd do is become a completely different person who loves to exercise and do weights and get all buff, but I'll settle for a little less hair and a few less blemishes.

So, what would you do, assuming you had all the money in the world?

The beginnings of the nursery

There is a story behind the entire nursery mural. The story is this:

There was once cute, pretty, colorful fish. Steve hated them. After much discussion we sanded them off and now there is a blank spot to be filled in after we receive and set up the crib.

All the pictures were free-hand drawn by me, but stolen directly from the internet. Namely, The Little Mermaid characters. I painted most of the nursery, but not all of it as Miss. K and Miss. Michelle helped out!

I did really love my colorful fish, but I will admit that it was WAY too busy with them on the wall. Sad, but true. This is really picture heavy, so pictures behind the cut...

I must give credit where credit is due and note that I did NOT paint either Mr. Shark or Mr. Lighthouse. Mr. Shark was painted by my friend, K, here in Parksville and Mr. Lighthouse was painted by Miss. Michelle. They did a pretty fantastic job, wouldn't you say? I thought so! I didn't mean to cut off Mr. Lighthouse, its just impossible to take a picture of that wall because of the window. A detailed pic will follow so look on!

This was the wall with the pretty fish that were SLAUGHTERED. See next picture.

Before we sanded them I couldn't find the camera so this is taken with my camera phone. Sorry for the exceptional shitty quality (not that my regular digital camera takes that great of a picture either, mind). But I digress, pretty fish eh?

And some detailed shots for your amusement...

Mr. Lighthouse as painted by Miss. Michelle!

Mr. Shark as painted by Miss. K.

Mr. Fishies

Mr. Seahorses!

The Octopus corner

Mr. Octopus himself

Mr. Seagull

Mr. Stingray

The treasure chest corner.

Note that the sailboat and palm tree aren't as detailed (or stolen from Disney). The plan is to give the sailboat actual fabric sails, and the palm tree stuffed leaves. I intentionally kept both simple for that purpose and so that the spawn can learn colors. We needed something elementary in the room (I figured).

In case you think I do nothing productive with my days

I give you proof, that indeed you are right, I do very little that can be considered productive but I have managed to finish off some knitted projects I've started over the years. I have this new goal to get rid of all the crap wool in my wool stash. And make Christmas presents because we broke like a broke, broke, thing.

First off, the Worst. Knitted. Project. Ever. I started this little white sweater about, oh, 3 years ago when Angela and Andrew had made a decision to spawn. Ange picked the pattern from a book I showed her, and asked for white wool and I got to knittin'. I've never hated a pattern more than I have this one. Because God does indeed look over me, Angela gave birth to twin boys so this sweater was really inappropriate. This year, however, she had a baby girl so I felt a certain obligation to finish this sweater. So I did. Not entirely sure I finished it in time for the babe to wear it but its finished and that, my friends, is something. Its also the heaviest baby sweater of all time. I have no idea why, but it is.

Next, about a month or so ago I was wandering around my local thrift shop and came across two balls of really cute acrylic yarn. I'm not really a fan of acrylic yarn, but as previously mentioned, I'm broke and yarn at the thrift store sets me back a whole 50 cents a ball. For a mere $1 I was able to make my godbaby a pair of wild looking pink socks. They're too big, but she'll grow. And probably put these socks in the drawer, forget she has them, and then one day she'll pull them out and they'll be too small. But you know what? Who cares, it cost me a dollar.

Since I had some left over yarn in the crazy pink multicolor, I made a couple of "E-Z booties". At least that was the title of the pattern. I proclaim that they were in fact "E-Z" to knit and also happen to be the ugliest booties ever knitted. Anyone want them? They may be ugly, but they are functional and let me say it again, the cost for the socks AND booties was a dollar. You gotta appreciate that deal! Since my spawn in a boy, they aren't really suitable.

In keeping with the Ugly Knitted Project theme I've started recently, I bought about 4 balls of yarn from Wal-Mart (mistake #1) that had been marked down several times (mistake #2) thinking they looked cool, were cheap, and I could do something with it. I pulled out this stash and started knitting and realized that this yarn didn't feel very nice. No self-respecting person would want this near their body so a funky looking scarf was definitely out of the question. I thought instead maybe a little purse would do and knitted one. Steve declared it was the ugliest purse he ever did see. I don't really disagree with him, it is indeed ugly (although, as a general rule, I enjoy ugly purses). I think I may take the remaining balls and make tea kettle cozies as only a tea kettle would touch this yarn.

I might still line this little bag and put a beaded handle on it anyway because I suspect this yarn would not tolerate being torn apart once knitted. Plus, maybe some beads is just what this bag needs.

I also had almost finished another grey-blue baby sweater made from really beautiful yarn but the dimensions were totally off. The sleeves far too big, the collar out of sort, and the sweater overall was just "off" so I tore it apart. Tearing it apart took me half a day. Told you I was productive!

I'm also almost done the mural in the nursery, so pictures coming soon! Be prepared for very bold and bright.

Not Dead

nor have I given birth! Just busy. I'll post something more substantial soon...

Gardening-Smardening

Gardening this year has been a complete and utter diaster. Between no water, being out of town during ideal planting times and dealing with the Yard. From. Hell., I basically have nothing of edible value. This year Steve and I had really wanted to see if we could possibly sustain ourselves for a time on our garden alone (in terms of vegetables). What a childish notion that was!

My peas initially didn't germinate (apart from two plants). I germinated the second batch in the house and replanted, and a lot of those have sprouted but their growth has been stunted. I suspect something is eating them because - and this is shocking - it looks like something is eating them. This particular failure can't be blamed on the water situation.

None of the zucchini, pumpkin or squash germinated, besides one pumpkin plant (this one plant is doing remarkably well though). The lettuce was incredibly bitter and most of it didn't even come up either because getting a sprinkle of water every other day just doesn't cut it for lettuce. Lettuce likes it cool and likes to be watered. I'm thinking I'll try for some fall crop.

I did have, by some miracle, a fantastic bean crop. All these wonderful colors and sizes and they were just ready for harvest, I had even collected a handful one day. I went out there tonight to do a serious harvest and EVERY SINGLE BEAN PLANT HAD BEEN STRIPPED. Fucking deer must have jumped the fence into the garden area over the weekend when the dog was camping with us. Generally they never come into our yard because Vegas scares them off (good puppy!). The one and only crop I had was eaten by the god damn deer. I'M ANGRY.

In happier gardening news, we do have tomatoes this year. Of course, our tomatoes are in pots along the house and not out in the garden and I have been hand watering those fairly regularly because I bought special pots for the things. I wasn't going to let them die, water conservation be damned. Thankfully tomatoes don't mind the heat or the occassional dry spell. The roses and raspberries, however, may not make it next year.

In other news, our neighbours are selling their place. This means that new people are showing up to view their house several times a day. Unfortunately for our neighbours, my dog isn't that pleased with this turn of events and hauls serious ass to that side of the yard every time a car drives in, hackles raised and barking his foolish head off. I'm beginning to worry that Vegas is going to keep my neighbours from selling. Selfishly I wouldn't mind that because they are great neighbours and we have to share the well with whoever buys that house, but I really don't want to be responsible for ruining a good thing for them. I've been trying to keep Vegas inside with me as much as possible as to give them a better chance of selling.