Amberism

Earth Day

Earth day came and went, and I did nothing to honour it. Does that make me a bad environmentalist? I even went to the grocery store and forgot my canvas bags. ON EARTH DAY. I felt tremendous guilt.

I'm also trying to convince my husband to have more children. I've officially fallen off my hybrid wagon. At least I went outside and played.

I desperately want to post something intelligent, anything at all that doesn't talk about my kids, or my boobs, but I've got nothing. I am still trying to get some volunteer work done, working on some craft ideas, and attempting to talk my husband into making some cute childrens furniture but nothing is yet blog-worthy.

Speaking of my boobs (what? I mentioned them in the above paragraph) the drugs aren't working, Claire-bear still hasn't gained weight, and I swear to God I'm developing thrush. Again. On the plus side, she hasn't lost weight either, so we're holding steady I guess. And I'm taking considerably fewer pain killers so I'm either getting tougher, or am in less pain from this breastfeeding business.

Hey, Steve just told me that Quebec City is 400 years old this year. That's cool.

My First Day!

My first day alone with the kids wasn't so bad. Not so bad at all.

Of course, neither was I alone. Two girlfriends came over with pastries and cinnamon buns and fresh baked bread, and even beef stew (I had forgotten to mention to Miss Laura that we don't eat meat :(, but the thought was very, very much appreciated and I hope she eats it tonight since she is technically on bedrest until her baby girl arrives in the next couple of weeks!).

One of my midwives also dropped by, and sadly Miss Claire has only gained an ounce since the last visit :(. However, she's gaining and is all pink and content and doesn't have any signs of a hungry baby so we'll see if the milk drugs kick in and if the fat starts to pile on her in the next day or two. At least she isn't being considered "failure to thrive". Yet, anyway.

And that is really all I've got right now. One of these days I'll blog about something other than my kids. I promise.

An Update

Still breastfeeding. Still hating it but pretending I don't hate it because I know it gets better once we get past this hurdle. I did cave and get the drugs, though, which is surprising since I am generally very anti-drug. Since I'm already taking the maximum advil and tylenol, why not add another drug to the mix! Drugs! Awesome!

Besides, if parenting has taught me anything, its taught me that I'm a huge hyprocrit. And I'm ok with that.

So far, my milk production seems the same but I'm holding out hope that by tomorrow something miraculous will happen and I won't be breastfeeding every hour and a half, but rather, every three hours just like the books say should happen. It annoys me that the books say it is so, but it is not so. I want it to be so.

Babies cry more than I remember. Or maybe Callum didn't cry as much as Claire. Or maybe I was just so tired I don't remember. I did manage to do two loads of laundry today and clean my bathroom and am ridiculously proud. Claire cried the entire time both tasks were happening, but honestly, she cried most of the day unless she was physically attached to my body, so I don't feel guilty. She cried through breakfast, lunch and dinner and my shower, too.

All creatures are currently sleeping, and as this post is a little nonsensical, I think I should go to sleep too.

Did I mention the two feet of snow that was on the ground this morning? Seriously! Two feet! In April! Crazy!

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was the anniversary of the end of Claire's first week so in celebration, we baked a cake! Ok, I was just looking for an excuse to bake a cake, but hey! Chocolate cake!

We're still getting into a groove. Only two more days until Auntie goes home, and then two more after that before Steve goes back to work. I'm scared.

Monkey Brain and an entire topic about boobs, but you're going to be disappointed.

During our Birthing from Within classes we talked about our "monkey brian". That part of our brain that never stops talking and can make a crappy situation even worse by talking about all the shit that annoys us. Like you're sitting in a really bad movie and your monkey brain is going on about what a crappy movie this is, and how the person in front of you breathes really loud and how your back hurts and you totally wish you were at home but this movie is still on and my god when will it end?

And then your movie-going buddy thinks its the best movie of all time.

I keep having to tell my monkey brain to fuck off when it comes to breastfeeding. Why God made it so bloody hard is a complete mystery to me. Honestly, if I was picking cotton in a field or walking across the western US during the pioneer days, I would have died. Or my baby would have because honestly? I do not have what it takes. Its one thing in the comfort of my home, with a plethera of pain medication at my fingertips, quite another if I actually had a hard life.

And why it seems so effortless to other people also annoys me. Those woman need a smack, or at the very least, they should be ugly. It's only fair.

It's getting better, I think, even though Miss Claire has thrown up blood and breast tissue twice and we're still waiting around for the golden poop and anyone with a baby completely understands that sentence. Its all about poop, and pee and your breasts get an awful lot of conversation time. You try not to talk about them, you really do, but you sort of can't help it because its this all consuming task centered around your breasts.

I used to really enjoy my breasts. I would have pegged these sweeties as one of my best features (really, I would have, a little cleavage gets me a lot of leeway with my husband) but right now, I sort of want to surgical remove them from my body.

For my friends on the verge of entering into this maternal world of bonding and bliss - get someone to show you how to do the strait-jacket swaddle. This is a miracle swaddle and one I wish I had known about with Sir Callum. It could be the difference between tossing the baby across the room or not*.

On the plus side, the little gas smiles we're getting are heaven. And Callum now shakes your hand "hello" and gives out high-fives. Ridiculously cute.

*And no, I would never toss the baby. I just like to say I'll toss the baby. It makes me feel better.

Its +20 C!

Its like summer here today, absolutely gorgeous. We're bar-b-queing burgers and sitting on the deck enjoying the day. Claire-bear is doing her thing, and hopefully will start gaining weight any day now. Breastfeeding still sucks, even the second go round. We've concluded I just have weak skin because my baby-feeding bits are all torn to bits. Its pretty awful, but we seem to be doing everything right...

Callum is thriving being amoungst our guests (Steve's brother and sister are here this weekend, and his sister is staying the week to help me out). He quite enjoys the attention. He's still unsure about Claire.

That's my little update. Hope you're all well! Thank you so much for all the kind words - I will post more about the birth when I get a chance.

Life Begins Again

A year and a half ago when Callum was born, Steve wrote the most beautiful post to let you know he had arrived into this world. I tried to get him to update today but he felt like he had some expectation to fulfill, so my internet friends, you get me.

Claire Elizabeth made her appearance this morning at 7 am after 12 hours of labour, about 6 of active labour. She was a healthy 8 lbs 11 ozs and 22 inches long. She was born on my living room floor. We had secretly planned a home waterbirth, but somehow when it came time there was no water in the tub, and no time to even consider it. Steve was remarkable. He was hesitant about a homebirth from the beginning and then to have his baby girl on the living room floor must have been traumatic.

It was beautiful and quick and we're all cozying in for a night of love and learning. My little guy is taking in stride, although I'm sure he feels a little left out. He's getting oodles of love from his Mammai and Papa though. He was able to meet Claire moments after her birth.

Here's my little old man (I think all babies look like little old men :) )

Still no.

So, if I don't have this kid this week, I'm on the list to be induced on Friday. However, if I don't have this kid TONIGHT, I'm calling my naturalopath and trying acupuncture. I'm desperate.

The good news is I'm a good candidate for the least intrusive induction method (instead of being put directly on a drip I can have a gel).

I went in for my second stres test today, and although no contractions were recorded, at least I was 1 cm dilated and we could do some natural type of induction methods. This worked with Callum, and my contractions have become a little bit stronger (I've had contractions for about two weeks) so I have faith. Claire is happy and healthy up there, at least.

Nope.

Nein. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. Zip.

In other news, last night we watched the Junos, as we do every year because I'm a huge fan of the Junos, but this year we watched mostly to see just how many shades of green I could turn in the split second where MICHAEL BUBLE SANG DIRECTLY TO MICHELLE. The bitch. Our continued friendship is up for debate because Michael Buble is my fantasty, thankyouverymuch. So. Very. Jealous.

The Junos this year were, well, good, almost Grammy-esque, which made them more than a little disappointing. Part of the charm of the Junos for me has always been that they were oh-so-very-bad. Cheesy, and Canadian, and almost painful. In past years, there must have been an open bar because by the end of the night the entertainers would be getting up on stage with a drink in one hand to give their acceptance speech. The speeches would be completely non-sensical yet much fun to watch. It was fabulous. Often they couldn't even be bothered to put on a pretty dress, or suit.

This year, however, everyone looked stellar, no one seemed to have a drink in their hand, and the performances were well done. I was disappointed to see Fiest walk away with so many awards (I have no reason for this, I simply don't like her and get annoyed when I like her music) but beyond that, it was impressive. I wish we could have heard a country or folk act instead of an entire show of mainstream but it was still enjoyable to hear the performances.

And since my daughter is bound and determined to spend the rest of her life in my womb, I've also managed to sew together 6 cupcakes for Michelle's charity (although I still hate her I 'spose I could send the cupcakes). Yesterday we toured a bunch of beaches between Parksville and Qualicum for something to do, then headed to A&W for a nutritious dinner. We're running out of things to do to keep us entertained while we wait...

No.

Just letting you know. Nothing yet.

Bummer

The stress test went well, Claire is happy and healthy.

And apparently quite comfortable because the other check indicated that I'm no where near ready to give birth. Its unlikely to happen this weekend.

I'm bummed and we're heavy into the natural induction methods right now in an effort to make this no-baby this weekend a wrong assumption.

Not yet

Today is the day I go in for a stress test and we'll do some non-drug induction methods so maybe, just maybe, we can meet the little one tomorrow! Or tonight!

Baby-be-warm, Baby-be-happy

Baby-be-unborn.

My other baby is having a blast with his Mammai, though. He cheers with glee when he sees her coming out of the trailer into the kitchen every morning. Its ridiculously cute. No. Really. It is. Mammai is also a wealth of songs and stories I've never heard, so that's been fun. She can even make up tunes to stories!

...so...yeah... we'll keep you posted.

Cookin' a Well Done Baby

Baby Claire is still cozy and happy up inside my business.

Mom and I did, however, make bread dough. Or rather, I measured out flour and she made the dough, and cleaned the kitchen while I checked my email. But I'm in the house, and bread dough has been made so I'm so going to take some of the credit. We're going to have fresh baked bread tomorrow morning! Yippee!

I've also started a Christmas cross-stitch for my Mom-in-law because I needed something to do but I didn't want to start a big project at this point. I'm thinking, though, that tonight I'll cut out some cupcake patterns for a silent auction for Michelle because let's face it, my track record for having babies on time isn't that stellar and I probably have the time to get those cupcakes together before she even arrives. My stress-test is Friday and we'll be doing some induction type methods that day, so maybe Claire will arrive over the weekend. Here's hoping she arrives before my Mom has to go home!

Obligatory Post

No baby, although apparently I was having a contraction during my midwife appointment today. I've had a few off and on today, but nothing regular so probably just braxton-hicks.

Today we bought Callum some drums from our local thrift store, there has been much music making going on around these here parts between the new drums and new xylophone Mammai bought him. I'm coveting this toddler piano because seriously? How flippin' cute is that? Flippin' cute.