Amberism

Afternoon Nap Time

Clearly, Sir Callum has a firm grasp of the concept of "nap". This is after 2.5 hours of solid sleeping, without so much of a complaint coming from his room. A gold star!

And here? I think it is safe to assume that Miss Bear wasn't paying attention when the ground rules were being laid out. Again.

At least she's smiling.

Falling Back Into Routine

I love the fall. I love the colors, how the light warms everything. I love the smell, the beginning of rain. I love pumpkin pie. I love Thanksgiving and the antipation of Christmas, christmas crafts and Halloween. Fall, to me, feels like falling in love. I fell in love in the fall, in fact.

Basically, this is the best time of the year.

Since the weather is still dry and warm while the sun is out, we decided to do a simple dinner at the beach. We picked a fabulous day for it. Perfect evenings like this is why we live here.

It'll be the last evening in a long time that can be spent so simply. This week begins the busy fall agenda with classes for the kids, volunteer commitments, a new running schedule for both Steve and I, plus there is a discussion about going back to work part-time. And let's not forget the crafting that is to be done in the coming weeks. Much goodness in the works, if only I can find that hidden hour that keeps slipping away from me. Damn time.

Even Claire got to partake in the beach picnicing and had sweet potato tonight, for the first time! She's on solids! ~sniffle~

The changing seasons has made me realize that she's moving into the third season of her short little life, having lived through the spring and the summer already. My baby girl is rapidly growing and I feel like time is slipping away from me.

I must be hormonal or something, because two sappy posts in a row? Weird.

Just dishing out some sap.

There are certain things about parenthood you hope to forget, like temper tantrums, the current lack of a sleep schedules, and for me, the agony that is breastfeeding. Then there are those subtle things you hope to remember forever, like what a little social butterfly Claire is, or how intense Callum can be when he's giving something his full attention.

Sometimes I look at the kids and wonder who they will become and what parcels of their personality today will shape them later in life. How much of who they are is pre-determined and how much is going to be a result of what life throws at them.

And then you can't help but wonder what life is going to throw at them, and how you're going to prepare them for it, or protect them from it.

People are constantly judging and sorting kids. It is such a rare moment where we can just allow our kids to be kids. Moments where they can, at will, empty the water cooler to make "cookies" or freely add their own art to every page of a book, or take off all their clothes and just hang out naked for a while. Why can't kids hang out naked when other people are around? They're kids.

I worry sometimes that I'm going to get too caught up in what I should be doing, what my kids should be doing, and what is expected, that I'm not fully enjoying how precious and fleeting these moments are. And I wonder how I'm ever going to remember those subtle, beautiful things that make my kids, and the kids I love, special.

The Sick.

We've been sick, in some form or another, since Calgary. This is sort of part of the agenda when we go to Calgary, we return full of germs.

Steve thinks Calgary is full of germs. I think it is more likely due to getting on an airplane. This time, Callum has suffered for over a week with a cold that won't end. Steve, too, has been suffering from some sort of cold, and poor Miss Claire had a couple of days of a low-grade fever, followed by days of sniffles. I had a night of a fever, followed by several days of what feels like razors in my throat. I'm considering calling the doctor today. The kids are sleeping 3 hours in the afternoon (which is nice) and I inevitably crash once they go down (not so nice, I like to get stuff done when they're napping).

There has been more medicine consumption in the last week in this house than there has been in the last few years.

The most annoying thing, for me, is that I have a list of tasks to accomplish that is a mile long, and it keeps being put on hold while I try and feel better. Except the stress of it is probably making me more sick than if I could just get it done.

To add to the sick drama, Claire is in some sort of transitional place. She is definitely ready for solid foods, and has been getting cereal twice a day, yet she still nurses ALL NIGHT. I've been too sick to put a stop to this, because getting up and down all night long and going to her room is too much energy. We can get her to sleep, say by 9 pm, and then by 1 am she's awake. And then again at 3, and again at 5. It's like we're back in the newborn stage, and she's feeding for an hour at a time, too.

I've tried feeding her more during the day (and I've added in another day-time bottle), giving her cereal, and I nurse her then Steve gives her a bottle before bed, all to no avail. I have a feeling she doesn't feel well and just wants the comfort of nursing and Mama, but Mama kinda wants to sleep in her own bed without a baby.

Bliss...

both my kids are asleep.

in their own beds.

start up the band!

(eh, ok, maybe not the band, that might wake them up! Here's hoping it lasts longer than 20 minutes, too)

Schedule-less

I desperately wanted to get Claire on a set schedule the last couple of weeks, and I have been failing. Miserably.

I can't get her to sleep without nursing/rocking/walking or relying on the swing. I don't mind the nursing/rocking/walking bit at all, she's only 5 months old and I'm a total softie, but the swing bugs me. She won't stay asleep during the day unless she's in the swing, so in order to get any decent amount of day-time sleep out of her I inevitably give up and go back to the swing. I tried, in vain, until 11:30 am today. She was exhausted, she would fall asleep nursing or in my arms, but would NOT let me put her in her crib. She should be going down for her morning nap closer to 9:00 am.

And I can't say for certain, but I don't think they make swings for adults (you know, beside the kinky kind) and I'd really prefer it if she'd nap in her crib.

She has never napped in her crib.

Lately, she hasn't spent an entire night her crib, since being in Calgary (where she was spoiled and slept with me from whatever time she woke up til morning) she would much prefer to be snuggled up next to me. Or rather, my boob. She seems to nurse all night, too. I don't really know because I fall asleep (when you're tired enough, you can sleep through anything) and every couple of hours wake up and switch sides. I was thinking maybe my milk supply is drying up, or maybe she's sick, or maybe she's teething, or maybe I'm just making shit up and grasping at straws.

So yeah, I'm taking ideas how to get her on a schedule, but you need to keep in mind that I have a 2-year old in the house. I can't really spend two hours a day in a quiet, darkened room rocking her. There will be trucks being driven over her head. That's just life with a toddler.

Running

I tried to come with a witty and funny title but came up blank, because running? Neither witty nor funny.

Today I ran 5 kms in 10 minute intervals (10 minutes of "running" with 1 minute of walking). Let's clear something up right from the beginning, when I say I ran what I really mean is a light jog. That said, I don't want to under estimate this light jog, which is no faster than my husband's walking pace, because I am still hauling my ass around, and my ass? Not something you'd describe as round and firm. Or small.

After several weeks of learning to run, and actually doing the training runs and increasing the time spent running every week, I can now call myself a runner. I can also say that I don't hate it anymore than I did 8 weeks ago. I hate it the same, but now I'm running 10 minutes, not 1, and I think that's pretty awesome. I did just have a baby, and I am still nursing Claire (almost solely, she gets one bottle a day) so not only am I hauling my not-so-small-nor-round ass up the hill by my house, I am also hauling the equivalent of two milk jugs.

I rock people. Tell me I rock.

All this to participate in a "race" in 10 days. I'm assuming that not everyone in the "race" thinks of it as a "race" because I have no intention to do any racing. My only goal is to keep up the intervals for the whole 6 kms, not kill myself on the hills, and finish.

Once this race is finished, I'm not entirely sure where I'm going to take this. Running is Steve's new fitness activity and he's flung himself into it head first. I admire his dedication (and his ass, it's looking just fine) and believe that we do need to keep up with some sort of fitness program. He has been really supportive of my running and training schedule, although I don't believe his motives are pure (I think he's dreaming of a rounder-firmer-smaller ass for me), which has kept me motivated to do the runs. Besides, I'd rather go for a run than listen to him critique the fact that I didn't go for a run.

Generally, though, I can't say that I have ever hit that "high" runners speak of. I don't find running meditative, or addicting. To be honest, I'd rather knit. I don't find that when I am out on a run that it helps me to make the big decisions, to clear my mind, to think things through. The only thing I'm thinking is that what appears to be a slight upgrade in the car is equivalent to a mountain when you're running and oh-my-god could 10 minutes be any longer? At least I don't have to put the kids to bed, but man, I'd rather be knitting.

I might look into the local running club and decide where I am going to take this from here. I know for certain that I won't be doing another clinic in Nanaimo for a variety of reasons, including the fact that its a long drive to Nanaimo (time that would be better spent knitting than driving) and the group there is just too fast for me. I am consistently dead last by several blocks and the class doesn't have a pacer for the slow-pokes so I'm back there, alone. And running in Nanaimo is just not enjoyable. I live in a beautiful little town, and don't see the point in driving to an ugly town and then running next to cars and a railway, feeling inadequate because I can't keep up to the rest of the group.

Maybe I'll just do pilates.

Behold! Random picture of baby-turned-unicorn that has nothing to do wtih this post! But she's totally cute.

Well that looks sad...

I need to post something so that this isn't just a blank page.

I am probably going to be a little bit sparse over the next couple of weeks because I've suddenly become insanely busy. Here I was looking forward to the fall and the rainy season so things would finally slow down, and instead, I'm busier than ever. How did that happen?

Today Steve ran a 10 km race in 55 minutes, which is totally awesome. We headed up to Nanaimo to see him cross the finish line, but missed him by 15 minutes. Trying to get two kids out of the house nad into downtown Nanaimo first thing in the morning is a challenge. I'm sad I didn't get to see him cross that finish line!

This coming week is all about finishing up committments, taking in the last rays of summer, doing some more canning and preserving of the summer crops, and of course, parenting, for the first week in over a month without my Mom. I'm not sure I'll know what to do!